I have come to the conclusion that 90% of the content found on ebaumsworld.com is, in fact, not funny. I would venture to say that it isn’t even mildly amusing. I spent about 10 minutes watching clips of edited G.I. Joe cartoons that were supposedly “wet-your-pants-hilarious” and I didn’t even crack a smile...they were just plain stupid. In a slightly redeeming quality though, I was able to view a clip of Vin Diesel break-dancing as a teenager (not today’s standards of break-dancing either, this was back in like the 70s...you know, where people would like, lie on the floor and flap around like a dying fish...at least I hope no one does that anymore), and my respect for him reached a new plateau of lowness...Or it might have just stayed the same, I can’t really tell.
In other news, Hidalgo is actually quite funny...as far as Viggo Mortenson being able to “act” is concerned at least. Actually, he’s not that
bad, although he does
have a tendency to attach himself like to glue to some object in his movies (i.e. his sword in LoTR and his horse in Hidalgo). To tell the truth I haven’t finished watching the movie yet...I got bored during the second hour and never returned. I’m imagining that he wins the race and gets the girl, but I could be wrong (since it’s not a Disney movie). I’m just hoping that he doesn’t make out with the horse by the end of the movie.
Oh yes, and in a completely random occurrence, I saw the air-drummer at Rutgers from the bus last semester (http://www.livejournal.com/users/completeinanity/1366.html
). It was the weirdest thing, because I was sitting in Dunken Donuts, and all the sudden I see him go by the window flailing away at his imaginary drums like there was no tomorrow. That’s got to be some sort of certifiable condition. I'd hate to see him listening to Andrea Bocelli...just the thought of the air-Bocelli is enough to send shivers down my spine.
Well, that’s pretty much it...I’m sure a bunch of other stuff has happened in between last update and this one, but I can’t remember any of it. If I do though, I’ll be sure to let you know.
Current Music: "He Said" - The Hippos (Heads are Gonna Roll)
The other day I suddenly forgot that I wasn’t suicidal, I decided to stop at McDonalds. Realizing that I had no cash on me, I decided to inquire if they accepted credit. I pulled up to the little voice-box order-taker thing, and waited…
“Welcome to McDonalds, may I take your order please?” asked an androgynous voice.
“Do you take Visa?” I inquired.
“Ceaser...Ceaser salad?” asked the box.
“No, Visa.” I corrected.
“Cheesburger?” it questioned.
“No...Visa…as in the credit card.” I was beginning to get a little annoyed.
“Diet coke?” The box responded.
Now I could see “Visa” getting misunderstood for “Ceaser” or even “Cheesburger”...but there was no way in heck that it sounded like “Diet Coke.”
“NO. DO YOU TAKE CREDIT?” I was practically yelling at the stupid box now.
“Debit?” Came back the moronic inquiry.
“NO!! CREDIT!!!” I was halfway out my window.
“No, we don’t.” came the blank response, which was most likely accompanied by an equally blank expression.
“Then NEVERMIND!” I’m pretty sure they understood that, but I didn’t wait to find out. I was all set to speed off, but realized that I was in a one-way drive-though, so I ended up having to wait for the three cars in front of me to get their orders before I could leave. I was not pleased. Oh well, that’s it for now...
Well, three years without getting pulled over and in the past three days (!) I’ve accrued $258 worth of tickets and two points on my license (which used to be completely clean). I can’t believe it. Although, I should have at least 8 points and a couple hundred more in tickets, I’ve been fortunate enough (if you can call it that) to get officers who were fairly generous. Guess it’s time to slow down a bit. I’ll update with more stuff later, but for now I’m off to bed...
Ooh, look...a journal. I really ought to update this sometime. Sometime...
Sleep Well Tonight
I’m sending this letter to you,
In hopes that it finds you well.
I wanted to say I love you,
And I miss you.
I pray that you sleep well tonight,
I hope you dream of me.
I’ll write you again tomorrow,
I’ll be home soon.
I’m a million miles away from you.
I can’t get you off my mind,
Not that I’m trying but,
All I want is to hold you again,
Sleep well tonight.
All these miles that stand between us
Get shorter everyday
I’m calling to say I love you,
And I miss you.
I can see the city skyline,
I’m not that far away.
I pull into the driveway
And I see you.
~Spoken – A Moment of Imperfect Clarity
|» Holy bat-farts Batman!|
Had a dream the other night that I teamed up with Batman and Robin to assassinate my History teacher so we wouldn’t have to take our final exam. We used one of Batman's many gadgets, the "Aging Flashlight" which worked similarly to the arc of the covenant in "Raiders of the Lost Arc." We succeeded in aging my teacher into dust, and Batman gave me $1500. It was very weird, and no, I don’t remember what I ate before bed.|
|» Lather, Rinse, Repeat...|
Well, just finished signing up for classes for next semester. Ugh...I don’t even want to think about next semester already, but I’ve got to. Having major doubts about “what I want to be when I grow up.” Graphic Design has always sounded good, and it is supposed to be fairly profitable, if I can make the grade. But I’m still not sure if I should transfer out of the art college, so I can avoid the senior thesis and show – both of which are primarily “artsy-fartsy” and which is something I would really rather not deal with.|
Aside from that, I’m trying to deal with the last few days of work at Best Buy…which aren’t going too well. I’ve worked in retail for about three years now, and I’ll have to say, it hasn’t been very good for my perception of the general public. I know it’s definitely made me a lot more cynical than if I had worked in a non-retail job. And I hate that. When I first started retail I put on my application that I “liked talking to and working with people.” Now I dread asking people, “can I help you?”
A quick rundown (don’t feel the need to read this…it’s just ranting):
Barnes and Noble was great, I loved that job. I still visit the people there. I never had to sell anything, and mostly it was just amusing to make fun of the stupid people after they left – the customers never REALLY got under my skin (well, maybe a couple – but they were few and far between). I would put it on the bottom of the “aggravating jobs” list. I would even go back, if I couldn’t find anything in the art field for during next semester.
Next was Costco Wholesale. Still wasn’t the personification of retail though, since I still didn’t have to sell anything. I don’t think customers ever pissed me off there...it was mostly the management (of which I have never come across an equal to the haphazard, and general worthlessness of abilities), and there was also the general boredom of the job, and the fact that I had to push carts and wear a stupid orange vest (until I became a cashier).
And finally there is/was Best Buy. The personification of retail and most assuredly on the top of the “aggravating jobs” list. The reason being, is that as an employee you are forced to talk to every person who comes within a 10ft. radius of you and is there for at least 30sec. (no joke, it’s in the orientation trainings). Not only are you forced to try and sell things to everybody, but you also don’t even get a commission…so you’ll get paid the same low-rate whether you sell 20 cameras or 0 cameras. But the management wants you to be as zealous as if it were a commission job, which is totally beyond my comprehension. You want me to chase customers and sell them crap they don’t need? You’re going to have to give me a cut then. Otherwise, you can take your “Performance Service Plans” and shove them.
Well, there we go...another caustic post. I’ll make sure my next post will be brighter.
|» More fun than getting beat in the head with a blunt object...maybe|
Well, I had a wonderful Thursday and Friday afternoon up in north Jersey, followed by an atrocious Friday night and Saturday morning in south Jersey. The crappiness of Friday evening and Saturday morning was only compounded because I was stuck two hours away from where I really wanted to be. Anyway...I had volunteered to be a “chaperone” at a lock-in at the YMCA that a couple of the youth from our church (and a whole bunch of youth from other churches) were going to. Which ended up being held out in the sticks of south Jersey. |
Unfortunately, none of the other youth leaders from the other churches really seemed to believe I was actually as old enough to be a chaperone, so I pretty much just ended up being another one of the youth. With a leader nametag. Bleh. I don’t mind being one of the youth, but if I were just going to go as one of the youth, I wouldn’t have gone at all. So, around 3am I decided to use my “special leader abilities” and go outside...and go to my car, where I put on some music and fell asleep for three hours.
The real problem was that there were almost as many “chaperones” as there were youth, so my presence was completely pointless (aside from being a driver, which I didn’t mind at all – because I was actually being helpful, and not just sitting around doing nothing). Needless to say, I won’t be volunteering for any “chaperoning” again in the near future – unless it’s just for our church, or unless they’re actually going to need me.
While I’m cheesed-off and ranting I might as well get an annoyance of mine out pertaining to youth pastors/leaders in general. Which is: I like youth leaders that act like themselves.
Example: If you’re a 35-40 year old youth leader, don’t try and use teen-slang, or worse yet, mix up lots of different types of slang that you’ve heard from various teens in movies or commercials. It sounds stupid, and you end up looking like a complete ignoramus. As a leader you’re supposed to be someone the kids can look up to, not someone who the kids can say, “hey, that youth leader just said ‘yo mah homie-G dawg, keep it gangsta-style real mah man!’” That’s an exaggeration, but I think you get my point.
Actually, this is pretty much a general rule with me as far as all people go: Don’t put on false-faces, or acts just so you can live up to the expectations of someone else. Be yourself. There’s nothing more refreshing than someone who’s genuine and not trying to act like someone they’re not. Yes, there are definitely changes you can make to your life to better yourself, just don’t make those changes based solely on the opinions of other people – make sure you actually believe in them.
Anyway, stick a spork in me, cause that sounds like it might be fun right about now...
|» Stick it to the man!!|
Every couple of weeks we have trainings at work, and then we have to take computerized tests to see if we understood what went on at the trainings. The trainings are always over-long, boring, and generally pointless. So, I’ve found a way to circumvent the system so I never have to pay attention to the material and I always get 100% on the tests. And yesterday I got 100% on a “business ethics” test. Which I thought was ironic.|
Anyway, hooray for loopholes. Now I’ve got to go clean my room before my laundry becomes permanently attached to my floor.
|» Contemporary art is trying to kill me...|
Hmm....still no time for a proper update, but here are a couple more pics. These two are each composites of two pictures.|
Hey, they almost look like they're supposed to go together like that. Weird.
Now I've got to go and try to memorize 100 slides of artwork by next week (yeah...I'm so screwed).